I (30F) have been talking to an old boyfriend (31M) from high school. We always got along and always enjoyed spending time together. After my divorce, we reconnected and things were going well at the start. He's got a great job, his own house, is emotionally stable and responsible, and very respectful. I'm extremely attracted to him in pretty much every way.

We live in neighboring states, so while we can't see each other regularly, it's within driving distance so it's not terrible. When we first started talking, things just took off and he seemed really interested. He would respond to my texts really quickly, we'd video chat several times a week, he'd say all the right things...you get it. So we finally decided to meet up and I went to his place (it was the most convenient option at that time for the both of us). I spent the night, we had incredible sex, and he was so sweet. Just spending time with him was amazing, no matter what we were doing.

After my visit, things cooled down considerably. He didn't stop talking to me, he just seemed to lose his enthusiasm. Longer times between text replies, no more passionate messages, no more video chats. He just seemed meh about things. Of course I brought this up to him and he said he's stressed about work and school and that he was sorry he made me feel like I didn't matter anymore. Okay, I get it, life gets busy, so I accept it and we continue on.

Things don't change. He still doesn't talk to me as much, doesn't tell me how he feels about me, nothing. We had plans to meet up this past weekend and been planning it for over a month. At the last minute he tells me someone offered him a ton of money to babysit their dogs and he asked what I thought about him staying home to do that instead of coming to see me. I told him I wanted him to come see me because we'd had these plans for a long time. No response for a few hours, and when he finally gets back to me he says he decided to stay home and get that money for projects for his house. I was so hurt, and I told him so the next day after I figured out my feelings. Immediately he made arrangements and came to see me like we originally planned. He apologized for hurting me and we had an okay weekend together. He had a lot of homework to do so between that and visiting his mom, we didn't get to spend as much time together as I would have liked.

Now that he's gone home, it's back to the same lack of communication and generally feeling like he's not as invested in this as I am. I don't really buy the busy excuse anymore because I'm in nursing school and I have kids (part time, joint custody with ex) but I still find time to talk to him and make him a priority. It just doesn't feel returned. On the other hand, I tell myself that he's an extrovert and I'm an introvert and he has a social life to juggle that I don't have. I don't know if that's actually an excuse or if I'm rationalizing, but I digress. Quality time is important to me and I have to feel loved and wanted because that's how I am in relationships. If someone is important to me, I put forth the effort to let them know it. I'm at the point where I don't feel like I'm getting what I want out of this relationship, but I'm hesitant to end it because 1) he's amazing and I don't want to give up someone like him, and 2) I'm worried that I'm being too needy and clingy and if I can just learn to chill out then everything will be fine. Hopefully I can get some outside perspectives.