So as some of you might know, I recently talked to a guy who was very into me but flaked out on me soon after.

Finally today, I decided to be blunt and tell him I like him, and that I just want to get to know him more.

But oh boy, what he said next just tore me apart.

He told me that he had recently been seeing someone new, and he apologized a lot for flaking on me and not telling me sooner. I asked him if this had anything to with my attractiveness or anything, but he said that wasn't the case. He was just worried it wouldn't work due to long-distance (although personally driving 2 hours tops to see someone doesn't seem so terrible) and the fact that soon we'll be heading off to different colleges. He said he thinks I'm an incredible person and wants to still be friends. I responded by being supportive and wishing him the best, but if I'm honest I'm not just spiraling.

"That girl is so lucky. She's probably much prettier than me, It's not just a long-distance thing, isn't it? There's something wrong with me. Why didn't he tell me sooner?"

These are all thoughts stuck in my head that keep spiraling. I'm hurt because I really liked him, and we have similar interests and we both were physically attracted to one another too. Fuck, I still like him. Part of me hopes we could have something in the future but unless he gets married to this girl I'm basically hopeless.

I also realize another reason why I'm so hurt:

I've never been able to be with someone I actually like. I've only ever been with people out of desperation, or wind up getting used or cheated on. I've never been with someone with similar interests, and I'm scared I'll never find another "perfect" person like this. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt, going through depressive episodes again and I don't know how to love myself or even start to get over situations like these when I'm so hurt.