Husband left in April (after 9 1/2 years together, 6 of them married.)

I didn't handle it very well because I grew up codependent and ended up codependent on him.

Anyways, in the last six months I've been working the hell out of therapy, reconnecting with friends and actually getting out, going to Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings, reading the hell out of books on healthy boundaries, codependancy, and books strengthening myself as a woman.

I feel so much better, and so much more myself. I love myself more than I ever have, I'm so glad to have my friends back, I'm always doing something, and life is just awesome.

But it feels like something is missing. Its getting cool out, and I just want a guy to cuddle up with under blankets on the couch and watch movies with. Someone to snuggle up with and nap with. Another soul to stay up late with talking about our dreams, plans, and wishes. Someone to share all the sweet little moments with. A true and equal partner to share my life with.

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But I know I need to love myself before I love someone else. I think I might be there but I'm not sure. I'm terrified I'm looking for someone for the wrong reasons, not the right ones. I don't want to hurt someone else, and ultimately myself, with my dysfunction.

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I want to be better, to take care of things better. And I'm not sure if I should take more time to do that, or if the right guy will understand, see me striving to better myself, and help and support me through it. I have my friends for that of course. But there's just something about that special connection with another human that I miss dearly.

I'm also scared that I'm not good enough. I feel more beautiful than I ever have, but I still jiggle in places, I have stretch marks, and I never feel like my face is quite clear enough.

TIA for any thoughts/advice/tips! :)