To get to the core of it I need to elaborate a bit. I am male 17 and the girl I like is 17 as well, we go to the same school.

We have been texting for almost a year now but only met twice at carnival. This is because her day is pretty full and we live too far apart to just walk over also we cant drive yet and bus connections are pretty much unusable

She knows that I like her as more than a friend (dont judge me its my first romantic contact, I didnt know how to deal with my feelings so I told her)

The complicted part is: She doesnt have feelinng like that for me. She likes me as a friend and we text almost every day. We share some interests and so on

This in itself would be already not so good for me but the problem is: She said maybe after finals she will consider relationships at all (they dont fit into her day now) and I would have good chances

But what am I supposed to do with that? I mean its so vague and unsure and I mean either of us could just leave the area after school and it would be over anyways

Now in 20 days or so we agreed to meet. Its a couple of days after her 18th birthday and she said she will pick me up. I also plan a little present for her because of her birthday

I am a really desperate guy and needy and I just really really want to be with her

Now questions: How do I deal with rejection? I fear I will be alone my entire life.

Is there really a chance for me or does she just say that?

Deep down i basically know there is no chance because wouldnt she have met with me before?

I dont have any plans for my future either so my life is going pretty bad at the moment and it would be a complete turnaround if this worked out

I just dont know what to do. In the end if she will ever only see me as a friend i dont know if i can be around her because there will always be my feelings