I’m 21 and for most of my life, I’ve never really had friends. I had one friend in high school. Her name was Emily. She was a decent person, we clicked, we spent a lot of time together, and at one point, she even named her puppy after me. Cute, right? She used to text me every day, told me she loved me, and all that... But of course, I ghosted her. Yeah, it was my fault. I just didn’t know how to deal with all the emotional crap that came with being friends, and I shut down. Now we don’t talk, and honestly, I feel like no one can be my friend. It's easier to just avoid it altogether.

But here's the kicker. My mom keeps pushing me to make friends—as if that’s the answer to all of life’s problems. She thinks I need a “support system” and that people will make me feel better about myself or some crap. I’m like, “Mom, I’m good. I don’t need any more people in my life.” The thing is, I don’t even care about making friends anymore. I’d rather just focus on finding someone I can connect with on a deeper level, someone I can have a meaningful relationship with. But of course, she keeps telling me to try and make friends first. Like, seriously? I couldn't give less of a fuck about friendships at this point.

I get that some people need a wide social circle to feel validated, but that’s just not me. It’s not like I’m some cold, emotionless robot or anything—I just don’t care to deal with the superficial crap that comes with friendships. 

Also, I have pretty high standards for friends. Emily texted me every day, named her puppy after me, etc. If you don’t respond to my texts or do anything like Emily did, you are not my friend. And if someone I was hanging out with called me their friend, I would tell them straight up, “No, you are not.”