Hey everyone,

I’ve been dating an amazing girl for 8 months, and over that time, I’ve come to love and respect her daughter like my own. Recently, things have taken a painful turn, and I’m really conflicted about what went wrong. I’m hoping you can offer some perspective.

One night, I reached out to ask if I could come over, but she said no because her daughter wasn’t feeling well. I responded understandingly, thinking she needed time with her child and that I should give her space during what I assumed was a stressful time.

However, after two days of silence, I started to worry. I’m stubborn by nature, so when I didn’t hear from her, I assumed it was best not to push things further. After five days, I finally broke the silence and asked what was going on. That’s when she told me that her daughter had gotten really sick—she even went to the ER—and she “didn’t have time to deal with people.” I was devastated to learn that the situation was far worse than I had imagined. I deeply regret not reaching out sooner; if I had known, I would have dropped everything to be there for both of them.

We met up a few times afterward, but the issue was never really addressed. On our third meeting, I brought it up again, saying I didn’t want us to continue fighting like this. That’s when she decided to break up with me, saying I wasn’t emotional enough. In the heat of the moment, I even took her off my social media and removed our photos together.

The next day, I dropped off her belongings at my apartment and wrote a heartfelt letter trying to explain myself and express my feelings, but she refused to accept anything I had to say.

Now, three weeks later, I’ve heard from someone close to her that she feels I don’t care about her daughter. That couldn’t be further from the truth—I’ve always treated her daughter like my own, and I made that clear in every interaction. I told her that if I had known how bad the situation was, I would have been there immediately, no matter what. I’ve reached out several times with sincere, heartfelt messages explaining that this may all be a huge misunderstanding, and that I truly love both her and her daughter. But so far, my messages have been left on read.

I’m really torn. Am I the asshole for not pushing more and not being there when they needed me, or am I caught in a heartbreaking miscommunication? Should I keep trying to mend things, or is it time to accept that I might have lost her for good?

Any advice or perspective would mean the world right now. Thanks for reading.