There was this one day where we were having sex and a little bit of alcohol and blow were involved. For those who don’t know when guys have sex on blow, sometimes it can be a little hard to get hard and that was the case for me that night. When I couldn’t finish we stopped and I noticed that she was either sad or insecure about that and then just curled up into a ball while covering her face with her arms.

When I noticed that, I went up to her and tried moving her arm away from her face so I can talk to her face to face and comfort her but in the process of of moving her arm I accidentally grabbed her a little to hard which hurt her. I did not grab her forcefully in any way I was just not entirely sober and I got nervous/anxious when I saw she wasn’t happy so I tried moving her arm slowly but just accidentally put a little too much strength when I grabbed her. So when this happened it really triggered her and she then kicked me out of her place and we haven’t talked since which was weeks ago now.

For some context, she does have some type of ptsd from abusive partners in her past so I completely understand and don’t blame her whatsoever that she feels this way. These past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling insanely depressed and guilty of what happened but even though I was just trying to help/comfort her I just ended up hurting her regardless of my intentions. I’m having a really hard time dealing with this because I know who I am and I know for a fact that I’m am not that type of guy because I truly do care about her and her wellbeing so much but at this point all I really care about the most right now is knowing that she’s doing okay and is happy as well.

So I guess I’m just curious to know if anyone here has been in a similar situation like this before and if you think that is something that can be fixed over time? Thanks