For context, I (F25) have been dating this girl (F26) for three months now. She's been giving me signals that she wants a serious, monogamous relationship. But that's the thing, I've been single most of my life and I'm uhhhh the kind of girl who can pull anybody she wants. I don't think I'm the hottest person out there but a considerable amount of people flirt with me. I have guys and girls on ig who dm me all the time, a (different) date planned every week, stuff like that. I was seeing other people for the first two months I was dating this girl but I stopped because she said she wasn't seeing anybody else.

And I know it's weird. Usually people are afraid of being cheated on. But I'm not, I'm not jealous, and if somebody cheats on me (it happened once) I just leave them and get over it, it's no big deal. But I have absolutely no respect for cheaters, I think they are awful people! I've cut off people because they cheated on their s/o. I see no logic in cheating, because if you choose to be with someone then that someone supposedly fills your needs, and if they don't then you should leave them instead of cheating (and find someone better).

I think somehow my disgust for the act of cheating has made me afraid of becoming a cheater myself. Plus, as I said, I've never been in a committed monogamous relationship. But I really want to date this girl, serious and only her, but now I'm afraid. I know a lot of people who are "friends" (people I flirt with) might stop talking to me. And that's fine!

But what happens if I'm drunk at a party and someone hits on me? What if I get caught up in it? I've never been in a serious relationship before. Right now, I don't want anybody but her. But what if that changes? Is it possible to desire somebody else while you're in a relationship but not cheat? What even IS cheating? People often mistake my friendliness with flirting, is that cheating? I've been a flirt and basically the female version of a "f*ckboy" my whole life, I'm so scared I won't be able to commit. And I really like this girl, but I don't think I'll be able to take the next step if I'm so scared of making her suffer like this.

Can anybody help me?