Whenever I say this outloud, people assume that I "don't know how to do casual" or I'm not fit for casual hookups or whatever, and I always found that kinda condescending and invalidating for them to assume that. I don't think that's the issue. But I also want advice on what to do about this.

4-5 years ago, I (26F) was basically sexually assaulted (a guy basically made me give him a handjob and tried to take my top off for skin-to-skin contact while he was on top of me, even though I was uncomfortable. And then a month after that, another guy wouldn't stop when I told him to stop in the middle of sex. I had to say it a few times and he finally stopped like 15 seconds later, but later, he made a mean comment about that and it rubbed me the wrong way). These obviously are nowhere near as tramautizing as some of the other stories I've read on here, and I know that, but I actually initially thought both those guys were really nice and respectful, so for things to go that way with them, is a big deal to me.

I sorta get scared to have sex with new people sometimes. One of the reasons is std's but std testing covers that. A 2nd reason is just because I'm scared I can't trust them. I don't know what to do about this. If they tell me they get regularly tested, I just ignore other issues I may have with them and try to get myself into it. But with this one I was recently seeing casually, even if he got tested, I think I would still had some "fear" in the back of my head to sleep with him. I don't know why I feel this way - he's totally safe to be around.

I wonder if it's because of the 2 incidents from a few years ago. I feel like I'm making this way deeper than it should be. Any advice?