Gf of four years says she is bored and wants to start going out without me. I’m busy with work and kids every other weekend and now she wants to start going out to concerts and bars without me.

Very early in our relationship, just after she brought up being exclusive she had sex with an ex after I told her my ex reached out to me. I was rebounding at the time and was still emotionally tied to my ex and she knew that because I was honest with her. About a year later she told me she felt threatened by my revelation and invited an ex over while I was out of town working and slept with him. I didn’t feel particularly cheated on as I wasn’t invested with her at that time. I told her that wasn’t right what she did but we can still continue to see each other.

A few years later, she started getting unsatisfied with me and accused me of cheating and was starting arguments. I became very suspicious and found that she was sexting a different ex. I confronted her and ended it for approx 6 months.

She worked her way back in my life. I accepted her back for the comfort since I was still single. I wasn’t planning on getting to deep with her again but as time went on I got more attached to her again.

Now all of a sudden I’m seeing some of the unsatisfied signs again. She says she’s bored of staying home. She works and goes home and wants to start having fun. Due to work and kids, I’m unavailable every other weekend. She was good with that until recently. Now she is saying she’s going to start going out with friends. She’s going out with friends to a concert that include guys snd girls. Not all are couples.

I told her due to her cheating past I’m not comfortable and do not want to be wondering what she is up to and who she is with. She promises she isn’t doing anything. I said well not yet, I’m not stupid, you just hadn’t met him yet and I feel you will eventually start cheating again. I then told her if your intent on acting single you will find yourself single.

On top of everything, everytime we’ve gone out it has never been a great experience due to her over drinking. She gets belligerent and even puked in my car one night.

I’m planning to give her an ultimatum if you go out we are finished.

Am I being a controlling jerk?