I (29f) am not dating right now but this was an issue that bothered me in my last relationship.

I am completely fine financially, but I like to generally be frugal because I want to spend my money on other things like traveling or my hobbies - not just endlessly eating out since I actually really like cooking too.

In my last relationship, my boyfriend (32m) would always order an appetizer, entree, alcoholic drink and dessert. I typically just order an entree when I go out to eat and sometimes an appetizer or dessert if the other person really feels inclined to get something - I’m happy to split that.

Since I’m fine financially, I don’t need someone to pay for me so I am happy to split our meals but he would always say “oh Venmo me half” when we clearly didn’t have equal meals. I was also funemployed at the time and more mindful of my spending since that time was for me to go after my big goals that I can’t be working during.

He’s a data scientist so I know this man isn’t bad at math. It was also an abusive relationship so maybe that’s why he wasn’t open to sharing costs more fairly.

How would you split the costs when someone orders more? I would prefer to just itemize and split fairly but I’m probably autistic and don’t want to make people feel weird if I’m calculating it to the penny (using the plates app by splitwise) but I’m also tired of feeling like I’m comping someone else’s meals all the time.