Excuse my bad English. It's just my second language.

I read many complaints about being toyed with by girls for months or having had the conviction that you will definitely get into a relationship with the girl you date just to be rejected months later or getting thrown away for another guy she dated at the same time.

So I want to help you guys by writing down some tips that I learned out of experience through dating the past year about how to spot if you are just the number two or even number three or if she even has interest in you and more. You can use it how you like but I definitely think that it will help you and definitely will improve your dating life and experience.

Just a little disclaimer before: The women I'm talking about are not a representant for every woman but I experienced things like getting friendzoned, thrown away for another man because they dated multiple people at the same time and more for a very long time and many times. I think in my location it is especially bad with such things. There are also good women that just want to have normal dates and that are loyal and more but get played with too. Also it is just my opinion but I hope to be of help to all men that have exactly this problems.

The last two years I spent a ton of time into improving my looks and getting rid of bad habits and bad characteristics. So my most important tip: Try to become the best version of yourself. Be always open and honest where it is neccessary especially in dating, start doing sport to improve your health even when it is just once a week (It doesn't matter what kind of sport but at least something.) get a good routine into your life and try to ask yourself and people what they dislike about you that you should get rid of. Now let's start.

1. Never try to rush things too much. Of course there is a certain time frame where you will date a woman but there is a big difference in taking the time it needs to let the woman get to know you or starting to really like you and expecting to get into a relationship in a week or something like that. Putting pressure on her will just push her away from you and end into being rejected. That was my biggest flaw two years ago. Also never say that you love her way to early. People and women in my experience tend to lose interest in you right at the moment where they definitely know that they don't have to put effort into it and start taking it for granted. At least in my opinion also because it puts pressure on them because now they know that you expect the same reply. Instead say to her that you like spending time with her and that you find her presence pleasant. That's a way better response that doesn't put pressure on them and gives them knowledge about how you feel.
2. The certain timeframe depends on how much you meet in a certain amount of time, how you match and more. Mostly it is like 1-2 months of dating with meeting up 1-3 times a week dependent of the time you have. When dating 1-2 months then there definitely should be a clear answer if there could be more or if your relationship between you two is improving. (Please don't mix it up with expecting to get into a relationship. It has a totally different meaning to expect a relationship at this point in comparsion to wanting to know how it matches, if you make progress and if there could be more than what is now in the near future.) Should the woman say something like "I don't know." or "I need more time." or "let's take it slow." in my experience it will end in a few weeks or months because she has another guy in the background she is dating and you are just the number two in the backseat for if it won't work out with the other guy. It's pure luck when you will be the choosen one in this situation because it will only happen when he rejects her or he fails completely with a stupid decision. It is just not worth it.
3. About the time aspect: When she doesn't have time to meet up for a date, she just doesn't have time for you. If she really want's to get to know you then she always will have time. Of course it could always be that she has a tough week or two where it is difficult to meet but normally every human is capable to shifting his calendar so that he has time for the person he is interested in or likes even if it just for a one or two hours. So if she never has time for you than don't walk after her and search for someone else because she won't have time for you so you shouldn't use your precious time for her if she isn't appreciating it.
4. Always, and I mean always!!! make your intentions clear and be honest. You want to date her and are interested in a sexual way to her? Then tell her that. If not, then she will see you as a friend and not as a potential partner except you have luck but that is mostly not the case. Tell her that you are interested in her and want to know more about her in a way that she won't interpet anything different into it than exactly how you mean it. Also always communicate with her about when something the does is not ok to show her that you also have boundaries. She should know that the time you are spending on them is precious for you and that it is not self evident for you normally to take that much time for just her alone.
5. Get out of your comfort zone. Try out new things. Also in flirting with her. You can even make some dirty allusions or jokes if you keep it in a certain area where it is in the right moment. Don't get reckless but being a man that is honest with his sexuality to a woman is way more attractive for women than a man that never admits that he is interested sexually in her. Example: I once waved a woman to me that I was interested in by waving with my finger and when she came to me I said "Look, I made you come with one finger. Now imagine how it is with two.". Saw this one in a video clip a while ago and even when it sounds reckless, it worked really well.
6. Don't show TOO MUCH interest. You are not a dog that walks after her, you are a man that is looking for a potential partner. Ask yourself what are things you like and also what are things you dislike about her. Always try to look it up rationally (also a good tip for women that have problems with fuckboys and more.) Of course when you match and the flow is good and she also shows you much interest then definitely go for it and look how it works out. But never look over her worst habits and flaws because later they will definitely come back to you.
7. Always try to be open for everything, not only a relationship. The best mentality you can have is let's see how it works out and decide spontaniously. Many people that I know got into a relationship after having a F for a long time because they catched feelings for each other. Having ONS or F does not make you to a Wh*re or F*ckboy. Please note that. Also a F can be a really good way to get to know the partner in many aspects even without having the commitment in the beginning. Also it is not a shame to just randomly ask the person if there can be more than just friendship even when you are just normal friends. They will always appreciate your honesty and even when the answer should be a NO, then it means that you can just move on because you know that you tried it but failed. Failing is way better than to never even try.

Since I set up this rules for myself, my dating life improved a massive amout. Like tenfold or even more. Of course I'm also take initiative by talking to a women when I see someone that I'm interested in so it also plays a huge factor. But since doing it with the rules in mind the quality of my datinglife improved in a huge amount, most of the time I'm the one that is saying no to relationships with the women I'm dating and in my opinion I get way more respected and way more appreciation for dating women now in comparsion to two years ago. Of course aside from this 7 big tips I wrote down there are a ton of little details you have to look out for too but most of them are different from person to person and are spontaniously. There is no perfect rule for dating and there will never be. But you can use this as a guideline to help you to spot if your date is worth your time or not. The rest is just experience and getting out of your comfortzone by trying new things.

That is all for today. I will update this post when something new will get into my mind that I forgot to mention now.

But just to say it a second time. Not all women are like that, there are also women that really need more time to get intimate with you or to be able to know if they want to get into a relationship with you. They also can be a very good partner for a relationship. If you are such a woman then you are just not in my dating pool because (IMPORTANT: IN MY OPINION) they mostly just don't know what they are looking for in a partner. I don't know about your situations or traumata, I can't read your minds and I will never be able to do that. Everyone has it's own circumstances so they also don't have to justify their opinions or behaviour or motives of why they do certain things. Finding the perfect partner can be difficult but that doesn't justify that you should take what you get but more what you want!

For questions just ask me. I will try to answer you all when I have enough time on my hand for it.