First off, I want to establish that I am an introvert man. I have no desire to be social and have been like this since my teen years. With that being said, I might be a little insane. Four years from thirty and I haven't been in a relationship since high school. I don't mind being alone but I still have needs.
 It's sad because those needs can't be ignored. Don't get me wrong, I've seen some attractive women while I was working (customers and coworkers). I wouldn't dare go live my life like a normal person due to a painful past so I am limited.
 I honestly have no active sex life and had to pay to lose my virginity and all the other women I slept with. One time, I was obviously getting flirted with, but I didn't want her because she slept with an enemy and he was a disgusting fat slob so I passed lol. Some women checked me out a few times before but I'm a little boy in a man's body so I never talked to any of them.
 Escorts are fun but I'm shamed on the low. Big girls like me the most and that's cool with me. I just ponder sometimes. Perhaps God is blessing me with not being a stud to avoid all the problems that comes with relationships and hookups. Just sharing my story.