Trying to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship for the second time now. Sort of feels like I won’t ever be getting back in one again (because I have to fix my issues, clearly I’m in it for the second time). To be fair, I thought I worked everything out prior to this relationship, he was everything I thought of and more than what I dreamed of.

Slowly but surely he started dismissing my emotions and what I feel, it’s one sided I always fix the issues, he tells me things like no matter how much therapy I take nothing will fix my issues. He belittles me like that. I caught him doing things I consider cheating and he very well knows I consider it cheating, yet he questions why I can’t trust him. He doesn’t take me out on dates and claims he is broke (even though I gave him ideas to do at home dates or dates that don’t require much money or effort). He always twists my words and makes me think I said something different, he makes me regret not recording our conversations.

So my question are:

how do I move on from this and heal?

I think he’s my everything (at the moment) how do I make him the opposite (I know remembering what he did is what will help but I’m so tired of hearing that now, I just want to shift the focus to me)?

Will this pain ever end?

Can someone give me some words of wisdom or advice that I can refer to if I ever feel like going back to him?

Currently our last fight consists of him telling me to stop confronting him and asking questions after questions when I simply asked him if he will come to my place after he’s done eating. I left quietly, didn’t ask anything after that, he’s been reaching out to me for homework help or if I ate. I give him the bare minimum, I don’t reply much. He hasn’t even apologized for the amount of disrespect he said. I don’t know what went wrong I simply asked if he will be coming later about two times (I needed to know if I should leave my dorm room unlocked for him in case I’m sleeping).

He gets irritated so fast. I feel like this last fight was the final straw, I want out. I just can’t fathom leaving, I need to disassociate and detach now from him.

A lot of people say that send a goodbye text and block him. I know that’s the right option to do because every time I tried breaking up with him he would manipulate me and do things like going back and forth trying to bring his stuff to his place (he would come back each time and knew it would give me anxiety when he has a car and he could have put his things in at once, and there wasn’t a lot of things to begin with that should have taken him one trip). He did that stuff and when I finally broke down he said “I’m sorry I did that, I did that so you can realize what you were doing, I was never going to leave”

He claims to know me better than anyone else, and he loved it voice what my opinion might be. He tells me in arguments that he knows how I’m thinking, so he will often twist my words and use them against me.

I’m dealing with stuff like this and I am so mentally exhausted. I love him but I guess my perception of love is just comfort and the pain he provides (which he fixes later). I feel like his love comes with a cost. I don’t want that anymore.

Yes I wouldn’t want my friends or children to go through this, so I really need this communities help. I’m only 20 years old, I’m in third year of my undergraduate degree and I have an event business. I’m doing so much without him, but he’s holding me back, in second year my grades started to flop. I need a good GPA to get into law school.

We have been together for one year four months now. It started to get worse 5-6 months ago.

I appreciate any help and advice. Thank you so much.