Something about the definition of insanity, right?

I don't want to try dating apps for multiple reasons, including personal privacy and just the way that those apps operate.

I live in a pretty populated area, and the bus to New York City is a short walk from my apartment. I don't want to go back to New York City, though. I don't like it there.

If you look through my profile, you might see that I put a lot of effort into making each post different. Sometimes, I tried to be a little more charming, and other times, I just said what was on my mind.

Today is my best friend's wedding, and even though I cried last night, and that I very often feel depressed, she told me that I'm not a downer and that I'm one of her best friends. She listens to me. She always, always, ALWAYS listens to me. I'm so fortunate to have her.

Someone in New Jersey approached me over the weekend. She shared a very erotic personal story with me. Nobody has ever shared such a story with me in such a context. Yes, but I fear that she's unable to understand that the reaction that I showcased then was one of being completely overwhelmed. I live in an apartment. I can't "freak out" in here near midnight! They'll call the police if I do and take me to the psychiatric hospital! I tried to stay calm being told her story.

That's why, in my latest post prior to this one, I talk of "emotional intelligence." I very much need that because I continue to suffer from trauma, ups and downs, and depression. Also, I get overwhelmed by the world. That's a fact. Too many people have minimized that, and my fake friends from the past sure did. In the past, I would go to events at Nintendo's store in Manhattan. I was told that that store "wasn't that bad." Okay, so then why did I have nightmares and cry prior to going to that store? That's all, very thankfully, out of my life now.

My question is one that you all certainly might be asking, but worded somewhat differently for your own sets of circumstances, tastes, and desires...

Where can I find someone who's great to me like my best friend, but who is willing to pursue something romantic with me?

I guess that many here are looking for a similar answer.

Edit: Please pardon the many edits in quick succession. I accidentally submitted my post before I meant to.