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How can I (34F) overcome being a social chameleon?
Author Summary
Comparison_Bitter is looking for a female
Post Body

I've always had this gift/curse to change my personality or only show certain parts to please anyone I'm around. Even my wardrobe looks bizarre with goth, band tshirts, all the way to cat t-shirts and kawaii. I'm indecisive as hell sometimes. I feel like no one really, truly knows me. The thought of never being fully understood or at least known by someone is so bleak that I just don't feel anything about it anymore.

I want to be able to show someone (26M - not interested in age gap responses please, just read the rest )(who I'm talking to, early stages but positive so far) the real me and stop trying to confirm to other's ideals. It's like those situations where people say that they're great meeting parents and they always love them; that's me, but it's actually not totally me at the same time. I usually have a good read on people right away after talking for just a few minutes or even looking around the room in their house. The worst is that I do that with people I date. They have this perfect ideal woman that likes what they like, does what they want, etc but I only do it to make them happy and not myself. Then I realize it's not going to work because I am not getting everything I fully need and I hurt them because of it. I feel like a monster for that. Does anyone else do this? Have you figured out a method to stop and if so, what is it?

TLDR; I change myself to get along with whoever I'm around. Does anyone else do this? Have you figured out a method to stop and if so, what is it?

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a female
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Posted
5 months ago