Im m32 currently dating a f28. We just been on the second date. I am a man who is emotionally connected with himself. Meaning I am quite in tune with what I am feeling and also express that. This girl I met she is extremely warm, energetic and incredibly expressive. I mean I'm curious If I could start a relationship with her. Now the problem arises. I have quite a history of dysfunctional relationships which causes me for some reason to feel like a boy in front of her and I fucking hate it. The way she looks at me it feels like aww sweet little boy or something.. and that in turn feels that I am that guy who she hangs out with but actually not fucks. This is just a matter of expression. It's in a way demeaning.. ofcourse its because I have been sharing some of my struggles with her and it honestly feel like women don't really care for that shit.. from their man or am I just thinking weirdly.. Besides that she is looking for a partner that makes her feel protected that partly doesn't feel like I am that. Also I think she was checking out a guy out on our date and then pretending to talk about a plant when I had a look aswell.. 😒. Am I being weird or paranoid.. or ladies you might do something like that.. Btw the guy was big and maybe brought up/triggered those things she said about protective partner. What is wrong with me why do I feel like a boy in front such a woman? Is she to strong for me? It feels like she is patronizing/condescending to me in some subtle way.. that I can't quite capture in words. Anyone who has some ideas or feels that knows what I am talking about. What am I experiencing? What are good directions for me to take? What do I do?

Besides this there is also another girl f20 who is completely surrendering to me and makes me feel like a man and we haven't even met.. maybe this still doesn't really count. But atleast she makes me feel powerful and brings out a man in me instead of a boy. Which makes me think why should I date the first one..

Please help. I hate dating..