My (36M) recent ex(39F) of two years left me with 4 months left on our place, said she would pay me. We also hadn’t settled up finances for a couple of months prior because I paid for everything and she paid me back from her checks. Aside from the bills, groceries - I paid for 95% of everything else - trips, fun, going out to eat, shopping, surprise gifts, I flew her broke sister (who also has two divorces just like my ex) in to visit because none of her “friends” or family came to visit when she moved from Dallas to MPLS. Honestly, I’m grateful she spared me the honor of being her 3rd divorce but I’m still trying to comprehend how the first person I truly wanted to spend my life with- can go behind my back and be so shitty. I lierally shared concerns about her doing that 4 days prior to her messaging that dude.

Ok, aside from that rant, I sent her an email 3 weeks ago with a breakdown of the $8,700 she owes me. It also came with some emotions and anger that could have been much worse, because she always lacked initiative and effort and she also was messaging a guy she previously slept with and they were messaging about that experience. How fucked is that? The day she was messaging that guy, I was researching a Mexico getaway for the two of us-that of course I was going to pay for. I can’t even think about fond sexual memories of the woman I wanted to marry because he commented on wanting to see her back tattoo again and now I just get furious when thinking about the love we use to have.

I sent her a follow up a week later, very short and nice. I sent a 3rd email: where I talked about sending her a Sand dollar she found on our first trip that was very early on given our circumstances and it was always very special to her- i didn’t know if she left that on purpose so I spent money to send it back to her in TX. I’ve been feeling really dumb but I’m not going to let a shitty person change my good nature. I also included a couple bills she got in the mail and again, politely reiterated that I want to work with her and we can figure out a plan as she does not make much money. This weekend I got a note that I was kicked off her health insurance (great company benefits) with no heads u. I wasn’t thinking of suing her because it would be 4800 for the year for my insurance but now it’s changed. I would have respected if she at least gave me a heads up, but she only makes effort when it directly benefits her.

So I sent another email this morning, still pretty respectful given what has happened and how many times I was worried about her cheating or messaging dudes or girls (she’s bi) Instagram and there were countless times she said she would never do it and then did just that. Especially when someone like me, who learned at an early age that my father cheated on my mother so I’ve never cheated on anyone, ever. That’s why she really respected my loyalty. Anyway I’m venting. In respectful words, I basically said that was really shitty, it’s really hard to comprehend that his is who you are. Then I said the money you owe me isn’t going away and I can prove everything (I can) and for the 5th time, I said we can work together but she needs to communicate with me.

As of now, my plan is to follow up in a week or two if I don’t get a response basically saying this is the last time I’m going to reach out directly to you. If I don’t hear from you within a week, I’m going to explore legal options.

Honestly, the money isn’t hurting me but I grew lower-middle class so it’s the leucine more than anything. But now that she’s shown so much disrespect and can’t even communicate with me and that’s a lot of money.

Thoughts?

TL:DR - GF of two years, now ex, owes me for rent when she moved out before our lease ended and she also owes me for other stuff- everything I can prove, even her admission. I’m not hurting financially but $8,700 is a lot of money. Should I sue?