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[M25] - How do I accept that I'm not sexually appealing
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Hey there. So I'll start out by saying that my dating life has been almost non existent for the majority of my life. The times I've actually had the courage to approach someone who I've thought could potentially lead somewhere either results with being completely rejection or being left in the friend zone. I guess you could say because of all of this, my confidence is also non existent. I've only ever had one relationship before, but it was online and they were pretty religious so I can't say whether she actually found me sexually attractive or not.

I have a more gentle personality. I'm more in tuned with my feelings and being open about them (for the better and for the worse), and I would say I'm more empathetic and more considerate to those around me. I've been told I'm pretty sweet and I don't think I'm a bad guy overall, at least I try not to be. I do try to take care of my appearance. Grooming/styling my hair, hygiene. I'm still working on styling clothing wise, as I haven't found what suits me best yet but I don't think I could go wrong with a buttoned shirt, jeans, and casual office shoes (again, still figuring it all out). Physique wise, I don't think I'm bad looking either. I've always been pretty skinny but have been working out for the last year and have built up a little bit of muscle. Nothing too crazy, definitely more defined and a noticeable change though for sure. Honestly, I think this is the best my body's been and I'm actually really proud of it and has helped build back up some confidence.

However, I am extremely short and I look relatively young. I'm 5'2" and have been told I look like I'd be in high school. My younger brother (by 5 years) is an inch taller than me, and looks older. Sometimes people assume we are twins and others, it is that he's the older one. Anyways, it's gotten to a point for me where because of my physical appearance and my gentle personality, that I should probably just give up on dating because I don't give off manly/protector/sexy vibes at all. More like I'm just that one friend you come to when you need to vent and need someone who'd listen and could comfort, or if you've been feeling lonely and want some attention (since they would know I would give it to them). I think that about summarizes most of my interactions with the few women I have gotten close with.

The closest thing I would say where I "felt" a bit sexually attractive was with a close friend where things briefly turned into a situationship. But after a couple serious conversations to figure out what was going on, I found out that they weren't exactly sure about me. That maybe they just loved the idea of falling in love but just I wasn't it. It made me feel like I was just being used as an ego boost to help get them back on their feet after a horrendous break up with their ex. I felt used and discarded and question it all and now question if this is just how things are meant to be for me...

Anyways, I'm sorry that turned into a little bit of a rant towards the end there. Honestly, I just don't even know what to do anymore. Of course I want to find someone who'd be able to love "every" aspect of me, but I'm also tired of things turning out the same way. Looking for thoughts, suggestions. Only the serious ones though please, since I'm tired of hearing those jokes like "if you can't find a girl, with your height, you can become one" or "just become gay, problem solved" and others along those lines...

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8 months ago