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I (M24) used to be fairly successful with girls in my home country (Brazil). I was never super extroverted or wanted to sleep with thousands of girls, but it was somewhat easy to find girlfriends/hookups/fwb (with pretty&fun girls) whenever I wanted to. Most Brazilian girls would probably agree that I’m an attractive guy.
However, I moved to the US a few years ago and my dating life is dreadful. Very little success on dating apps, texting usually leads to some playful flirting and then ghosting or straight rejection. Sometimes I get some attention from girls irl, but usually they end up being very flakey and we never go on actual dates.
I’ve went to 3 or 4 dates over the past 4 years, and managed to hookup with one of these girls one time. But this is driving me crazy - I’m not only feeling lonely, but also degrading my self confidence.
Are the beauty standards here that different? Maybe it’s because I’m not rich? Or because I’m a foreigner and they feel like they can’t connect with me?
It’s the need to stand your ground, get defensive, and push back the very instant someone proposes a different perspective than the one you have.
That’s what acting “dug in” is. And it’s what you’ve done to every reply you’ve gotten.
There’s better ways to engage with people imo, like having an actual discussion like “oh I haven’t considered that, what do you mean?”
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You’re the one who’s pushing back on differing perspectives. Take a second and realize you’re the one acting “dug in” here.