I know that this could technically be posted in r/OnlineDating, but I figured I would ask my question here as well if anyone could be of assistance.

I'm a 39 year old Persian American guy who will be turning 40 on December 1st and have been single for eleven years. I've tried online dating apps on and off the entire time and have had virtually no success matching with/finding anyone that I am attracted to (the lone exception being a celibate woman who I met off of OK Cupid back in the summer of 2012 and only dated for a few months before said relationship inevitably fizzled out). I used to read/analyze every woman's profile to determine if said woman would be someone I'm interested in. But then I noticed that I wasn't matching with anyone at all due to being overly selective. After a decade ( ) of utilizing this approach I gave up and decided to just swipe right on everyone and then unmatch women I match with that I'm not attracted to. This has also resulted in nothing since the few profiles I have matched with have either been scammers/con-artists/bots or women that I'm not attracted to on any level whatsoever.

I had a lengthy conversation with two of my co-workers yesterday who told me to dropkick online dating entirely because every app/website is hot garbage. Their suggestion was to go out and find someone the old fashioned way. My problem is that I have never successfully asked a girl out. Every ex-girlfriend I had asked me out first. I have virtually no self-confidence due to my appearance. To clarify, I'm 6'2", 260 lbs., have awful crow's feet due to chronic sleep deprivation/severe obstructive sleep apnea, and have the back posture of a 90 year-old man. Couple that with the fact that I am slowly, but surely going bald, and I feel as though the ground is shrinking beneath me a little more each day.

I am currently on meetup.com daily, scouring said site/app for a potential group that I can find common ground with in the hopes of meeting someone that way. Thus far all the groups tend to be for activities that I have no interest in. My brother, who has been participating in tennis tournaments for over a decade now and met his wife while playing tennis, has constantly been trying to sell me on doing the same. But I'm not a big fan of playing sports anymore. I was when I was younger, but I gradually stopped due to a lack of interest as well as my joints not being able to withstand running anymore. I am a born and raised San Francisco 49ers fan and like watching their games, but don't like frequenting sports bars due to all of the belligerent alcoholics I have encountered in the past (I'm a straight edge). My mom has suggested meeting someone at a church, but I feel as though that would be both creepy and wildly inappropriate. And the coffee shop/book store options don't really appeal to me either. I like to people watch, but it feels as though that would creep out women too. Again, I don't have any confidence in my appearance and worry that I creep out every attractive woman that I encounter. Social anxiety/low self-esteem is the bane of my existence.

What venues should I consider if I am to go out into the "real world" to meet someone? Or should I just give up?

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