This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
I (39/F) have been on a lot of first dates, although I’m a little nervous every time I find conversion flows naturally for me and I shake it off fast. Although it’s not always the case I have found a lot of my dates seem very nervous. I know it’s not necessarily about me, it makes me wonder if I’m making them uncomfortable, they aren’t having a good time or just disinterested. Most of these men are of a similar age and stage in life to me but have less dating experience.
Is there anything I can do to make them feel more comfortable and less jittery?
I almost only date men over 40 and oddly the few dates I’ve gone on with younger men (early 30’s) are the ones with confidence and make a move. I find older men are shy and have often been in 15-20 year relationship and not comfortable on dates as it’s been so long.
At this point I’m about to “90 day fiancé” it! And you are right maybe shy or reserved is a better word than introvert and maybe I can choose quieter settings for dates than a bar.
Yeah I’d like them to carry the conversation. After posting this I wonder if I am just dating introverted, shy men and I’m more so extroverted- so it’s more of a bad match issue.
I would say more so direct but the questions are more so conversational than controversial or me making a strong opinion
I’m doing most of the talking, lots of silence and they seem jittery. I’d day like 60/40 and I’m asking questions and leading the conversation. I try not to and let the pace flow naturally.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 year ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/dating_advi...
Yup I am very honest about what I am like, engage in, enjoy sexually and looking for. I don’t share nudes or sexy chat before meeting 95% of the time. I do think part of it is confidence.