There is that man (M38) I (32F) always end up in a casual situation with, Bill. We knew each other years ago and were dating at some point. But we were always fighting. Mainly about how he wanted to take things slow, and I wanted to at least meet his mom. So we broke up.

Over a year ago, I left an abusive relationship, and right on cue, Bill shows up again. We agreed it was going to be casual. But Bill wanted me to be sexually exclusive to him. I wanted the same from him. It was very confusing, especially since I think we saw each other too frequently for it to be casual. Basically, I saw he was being very heavy with another woman at a bar, got my feelings hurt, and he decided we shouldn't be intimate anymore.

We weren't talking for months, until recently. And when I went over, I wasn't expecting us to have sex, but I was wrong. And then I had sex with him again the next week.

For those months we weren't together, there had been a few sexual partners I was in a casual or one time thing with. One of these men, Johnny (37M), I have slept with two times before. Johnny wanted to have a spicy party for his birthday, and I contributed. I never did oral on anyone. Everyone used condoms.

And now I feel weird about seeing Bill again. Once in a while he asks if I slept with anyone. And before, it would have been that I was sleeping with no one else. But now, I would have to tell him about the whole situation...I really don't want to.

It feels like cheating, but I know it's not cheating. I consider myself single and Bill has not made any attempt in being anything more than casual.

At the same time, I feel weird about the Johnny/orgy situation too. I feel a little overwhelmed actually and wonder if I maybe bit off more than I could chew.

How should I go about all of this? How should I word to end things?