Tldr I lied about having kinda traumatic sex and now I want to date one of the guys who I told, is it worth telling him?

So i [24f] have always been pretty sure I won’t date. I’m pretty ugly so guys just never ask me out and I’m happy on my own. I hate the idea of being naked and having someone see me so sex has just never been an option for me, not that anyone asks.

When I first started grad school, I met a guy who was always talking about sex and I had given hints that I was a virgin. I even said I never kissed anyone. Then he asked me if I was a virgin, I just couldn’t say yes because he looked so shocked and I was so embarrassed. So I told him I had. (I know, shitty behavior). Because of the no kissing I guess people assumed it was a bit of a bad situation which I think makes this lie a lot worse.

Anyways I try not to talk about it or bring it up, but I became friends with a friend of the first guy and so he ended up finding out that I had ‘had sex but never kissed.’ As we got to know each other more, we started developing feelings. He asked me out months ago and I said no because I had no idea how to tell him that I had lied about having sex. And not only that, I had lied about having weird sex. Its something I really regret now. This guy is my best friend and I worry that if I tell him; then I’ll ruin the friendship because I’ve broken the trust.

Is there a chance he would be able to get over this if we actually did date? Or is it stupid of me to expect that after what I have done.

I have even considered just losing my virginity before but I feel like that just makes it worse