Been a while since I've [26M] been out with a girl, but the other day my 2 friends invited me out with their dates. I was about to say no. Not going to be the fifth wheel in a double date but then my one friend says "We're bringing another girl for you."

Intriguing.

The move is to go to brunch on Sunday. Cool. I have not seen or met this girl before at all, and I opted not to ask for a picture. Decided to give myself the "going in blind" experience. I decided to set my expectations pretty low as far as appearance and maturity (thinking that the girl is probably going to be a barely legal 21 year old) even though I can be kind of picky. I hesitate in calling it a "date" because I had no idea if they had even told her about me.

Anyways, we meet up at my place to drop the cars off and uber into the city. Everyone greets one another and I am pleasantly surprised that the girl (let's call her Melissa) in question is actually very pretty.

We all go out and start having a good time but Melissa has only been in America for a year, and her English is not rock solid, she's pretty shy, and the environment is kinda loud. Time goes on and I just go with the flow. Everyone gets a bit tipsier as drinks continue to be served, but I'm sipping pretty slowly trying stay sober. I'm also semi-vetting the girl my best friend brought (let's call her Anna) because they're very close to being official. She was definitely the most outgoing that day and was at the center of most of the conversations.

I'm making light conversations with Melissa and trying to loosen the tension considering the two couples in front of us getting all PDA in front of us, but also trying not to be too tryhard. And I think it actually started to work, she seemed to get a lot more open to conversation as time went on.

I also recall a moment where Melissa and the other guy went to the bathroom and he told me later that she asked him if she was boring, he said yes jokingly but idk if she picked up that it was a joke..

From the time that I got to spend with Melissa she seemed pretty cool and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that she's 23 and not 21.

Eventually we leave and that's when things start to go bad. I'd not noticed when or how much but apparently Melissa had decided to drink....a lot. This caught up with her at the next bar and she ended up in the bathroom. Anna decided to play bestie and take care of her even though she was drunk herself. And the other couple….got into a fight....and stormed off in different directions. Eventually due to Melissa's sustained period in the br the bar made us leave.

Whoa.

After her throwing up several times we finally carry Melissa to an Uber back to my place where she immediately crashes on my couch and we all wait for everyone to regroup pick up their cars and go home.

I'm pretty disappointed that things couldn't have just gone normal for a first time meet up.

My best friend and Anna really hit off in terms of some good news.

I don't know how I should look at Melissa's drunkenness. Sidenote, I also found out she'd had basically nothing to eat before going out and barely touched any food at the get together.

Should I chalk this up as a major red flag that she's immature, and irresponsible, etc.?

Or should I give her the benefit of the doubt considering how shy she was, the pressure surrounding the whole thing etc. Perhaps she thought drinking would loosen her up and she got carried away?

I sent her a message the next day checking up on her and she was pretty apologetic. I sent the obligatory "Don't worry about it" text and followed with "we all learn our limits someday." After that I cut the the conversation short and don't plan on initiating anything beyond that for a while at the minimum.

I want to be a gentleman about this and not whine, but I also want to refuse to be a door mat and just write this behavior off as tolerable. How do I walk that line?

What do y'all think?

Let me know whether I'm getting a guys vs girls perspective. Too if you please.