It is you. For a long time it was me too. I was never hitting home runs on the match front but would garner one or two decent matches a week. I would approach every match in a polite manner, talk about the same mundane safe topics like travel, interests and hobbies. I generally just tried to keep the conversation going, sometimes up to a month or so at a time to try build connections and really it was a massive waste of time, and I was literally after years of on and off online dating going nowhere.

So August rocks by and I suddenly had an epiphany after a girl started taking 3-4 days to reply to messages - the conversation was boring. I wasn’t excited, sure to hella she wasn’t either.

So, I asked her to do a phone call, we vibed and she asked me out - legit first time I’d even considered suggesting a phone call with any of my matches, literally learnt more in an hour of talking on the phone and would have undoubtedly lost that match had I continued to play it safe.

Since I actually realised how much easier it was to form a connection through the phone, in the last 3 weeks I’ve started suggesting a phone call within the first 5 or so messages to all of my matches. Been on 5 ‘phone dates’ and 2 actual dates! Can’t believe the difference it actually makes, and although the first one was kinda awkward, I’ve started to develop a real technique to them!

So if this sounds like you, get your match on the phone. Learn what really makes them tick, stop wasting time as one of their other matches won’t be.