hii i (22F) recently downloaded hinge and tinder to meet some people and ignite my nonexistent love life. i started chatting with a guy from tinder (let’s call him A) and we planned on meeting up this past saturday for some boba and a movie. i told my friends about the plan (for safety ofc since they have my location). one of my friends recognized him and said she knows his ex-gf. wonderful...

so my friend reached out to the ex to get any info on if A has any major red flags and according to the ex— A is very emotionally immature and insecure. he didn’t like the fact that her hobby was salsa dancing bc it involved her dancing with other men at times. after she was s*xually assaulted one night, she texted him for support and he said it was basically her fault for dancing with men like that. she broke up with him after that in august and they had dated for a few months. the ex sent my friend screenshots of the text messages to prove these claims. the ex also said she was very concerned for me and my safety and said she felt bad for me for getting trapped by his “sweet” antics bc that’s how he roped her into a relationship.

now back to my personal experience-over text A has been very kind and flirty with me. no obvious red flags. however, he takes foreverrr to reply back to my texts which is kind of annoying to me and i hate it. im talking 24 hrs at the MINIMUM. and the fact that he cancelled our first date 10 MINS before i left my house was rily frustrating. he said he had to take care of his mom all week bc of a head injury and she's been liking him taking care of her so he couldn't make it. my thing is—if he's been taking care of her all week and knew the responsibilities, why set up a date w me? do men even realize how much effort it actually takes to get ready for a date, mentally and physically (hair/ makeup/etc)? (this is all my experience ofc, if you don't wear makeup, idc, do as you please).

i’m thinking about messaging him to end things or give him a shot? idk i need advice, id like to hear from an uninvolved person.