I'm a 28-year-old male, 6'3", with dark features, in good shape, a solid job, intelligent, educated, and come from a great family. I used to feel like I had it all—until I didn’t. Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with genital herpes, and while my symptoms have been extremely mild to almost non-existent, the mental side of it has been the hardest part. The stigma surrounding herpes is real, and the lack of education on it is shocking. I certainly didn’t realize how common it was until I contracted it.

To give you some perspective, the WHO reported this year that 64.2% of the world has HSV-1. And it's likely even higher because many people are asymptomatic and never get diagnosed. HSV-1 typically causes oral herpes (commonly known as cold sores), but it can also cause genital herpes if transmitted through oral sex. This is something many people don’t know, and unfortunately, genital cases of HSV-1 are on the rise. There’s little to no stigma if you have a cold sore on your lip, but the moment herpes is in a different location, that changes.

Personally, I have HSV-2, which is more commonly associated with genital herpes. While HSV-2 can also spread to someone’s mouth (rarely), it’s still possible. The key thing is that either type can infect either location, but the public isn’t aware of this. The main difference is that HSV-2 tends to cause more frequent and severe outbreaks—though that’s not the case for everyone (myself included). HSV-2 also sheds more often than HSV-1, meaning the virus can be present on the skin without visible symptoms and transmitted asymptomatically.

There’s no cure for either type of herpes, but it can be managed with antiviral medications. If taken daily along with condom use, the risk of transmission can be reduced to 2-3% annually for HSV-2. I hope people can understand these facts and become better informed. I’m not looking for pity, but I do encourage everyone to educate themselves on this.

Since my diagnosis in June, I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. I disclosed my status to one girl and was rejected, which was hard to deal with. I know there are plenty of positive stories out there, but the thought of putting in the effort to get to know someone, disclosing my status, and risking rejection can feel exhausting. Despite all this, I’m still hopeful about finding someone. I know I have a lot to offer, but dating is going to be more complicated now.

It’s frustrating because my symptoms are practically non-existent, but I constantly have to think about protecting any future partners. Just looking for some advice and support on how to navigate this. I’m happy to chat privately as well. I’m from Ontario, Canada.