So I've always had a nearly dabilitating fear of traveling by airplane.

with my last ex, I finally went on one. we went around china and taiwan....

While on it, at first, I tensed up and held her hand... closing my eyes and just waiting for it all to be over as best I could.

after she saw me do this the first time, when we were finally leveled out flying and I could speak again... she asked me what was going on and let me know she actually loved to fly.
I didn't really do anything, just tensed up and braced myself as hard as I could... the only way she was involved was me holding her hand (though, I tensed up pretty tight and I had to hold like a finger or wrist or something).

after the second or third time she finally looks over at me and tells me I'm ruining the experience for her... Here I am fully staring at death and absolutely locked in so that I can be with the woman I love and shes upset about how it's dampening her experience to have someone deathly afraid of flying next to her.
and just to be clear, I shit you not, I actually passed/blacked out during one of the take offs. I was so wracked by it that my brain actually shut down.

and thats what she says to me?

Just, sometimes I think back about this moment when thinking about women and dating people and just feel a visceral level of what in the actual fuck. I'm glad I left her, it took a while and a lot of moments like this to build up but just... it has never ceased to amaze me how people can be so inconsiderate towards their partners (or even dates). shit always seems to be about them...

fucking sucks man.