The person I was seeing ended things with me yesterday. It was the fourth date. She said she was going through some things, and that she no longer felt chemistry with me. We'd been talking for about a month, and up to this point I never knew anything was wrong.

This happens to me all the time. It has never NOT happened. I have never had a relationship because whatever chemistry is there fades into nothing, and I'm powerless to stop it. No matter what I do differently, it always ends the same.

I need women to get mad at me. I need women to tell me when I'm not doing what I should be, or when I say or do something wrong. I can't do this mindreading bullshit anymore, because I fail every time. Argue with me. Make demands. Tell me when you want me to touch you. If you value any aspect of being with me, if you enjoy my company at all, then have the guts to tell me when I'm letting you down. Because I'll never figure it out myself, and I can't change what I don't know.

People will tell me they like me. That I'm worth loving. That I'm a catch. And then they'll turn around and break my heart without warning. It hurts me so much to believe what they say, to see myself as they see me, only to be tossed aside like a used sock. If you respect me, then respect me enough to have tough conversations. Because otherwise, I'm going to start you never respected me or my feelings to begin with. And I don't know how I'm supposed to trust any of you if that's the case.