hi, I'm 20 years old student studying astrophysics and I've dipped my toes into the dating world early on in terms of online (yea didn't work out and had very interesting encounters. Regardless sometimes it does work for some people)

I consider myself "ugly" even tho at some times I think I look average in terms of looks but I will obv admit im a little chubby due to childhood stuff (force fed etc) and im working on it slowly but its hard when full time school and part time work (but basically working full time hours).

In dating apps, I know their a scam and meant to gain more money but like no one ever likes me on the app and if they do it's just sex bots or random scammers (which are fun to mess with) I only have gotten a few real matches and then ghosted (which I don't care much about as I'm use to it) I don't know what to do.

When I do meet someone or get to know someone they tend to steer away... I mean yea I'm austic but I'm very high functioning austim level. Thougu yea I can be clingy (just because I didn't really grow up with An auctal mom and dad judt with grandparents. Then having to basically make adult decisions for household earlier on in life) though people would describe me as fun to hang out and nerdy. I'll admit I'm not really that funny nor do I know how to reply sometimes.

I'm in a small group of friends enjoying that life. There is this girl that goes to the JC nearby. Which in fact I knew her since middle school. We recently reconnected but never is on Instagram which sucks ass. Trying to get her to come over to a friend hangout on Friday. I would like to focus on her as she's very pretty and we know each other from far back just never really talk. Though I'm uncertain if she has feelings or would develop feelings. Pretty sure she doesn't even have a boyfriend.

I taken a break from the dating world for a bit (didnt really have any "official realtionships"). It's not my main focus but it's been on my mind and shifting to be my main focus kinda. Some people say when the time is right, it will come. I'm just pretty sure I ain't that good looking (I'll admit that as well lol even tho I gotten complicated by numerous of people which confused me.)

I honestly don't know what I'm even asking or looking for in terms of a response. I'm just so lost in my head? Any help would be appericated. I'm more open to dms if you want to get to know me more on a personal basis.