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Met a guy. We kissed. Think I ruined it. Never heard from him again…
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Sharing this because I haven’t told anyone and for so long, I thought i was ready to date but I really don’t think I am.

Saturday, My friend had a show and invited me(23F). Another one of his friends(25M) was there too and we hit it off immediately. Talked for hours at the show then went to this bar to talk more and it was great. didn’t leave till like 2am. Anyways, at the end of the night he asked if he could kiss me and i freaked out and said “i want to but i don’t think i should” but then internally said fuck it and kissed him. in the middle of it, he said, “ it’s okay don’t overthink things “ after that little make out session he asked for my number, went separate ways and I don’t really know if it’s too soon to be saying this, but I never heard back… (i think so?)

I struggle with relationships and am deeply terrified that The other person wants something entirely different. i was scared that might happen again where i like the person for who they are and i think they like me too but in the end i end up with my feelings hurt bc we aren’t looking for the same thing. I was also scared of things, escalating and him trying to take advantage of me. I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time and was honestly so scared I freaked and that’s why I told him that anyways huge part of me feels like my reaction is what ruined it. because of my reaction and because of how I’m feeling currently I’m most definitely not ready to date.

thank you for reading my TED talk just wanted to vent. Please be nice.

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9 months ago