I'm 31 M and have never been in a relationship. I'm not sure why, but around the holidays my emotions get even worse. I have a crush on a coworker, she's pretty amazing, we get along very well, but I feel like I'm just getting strung along because I can help her at work and give her information she wouldn't normally get. We've hung out with other people a couple of times, but most times whenever we hang out it's usually just talking about work. I have awful social anxiety and I have awful conversational skills to a point I never what to ask. I always feel like asking a question would sound wrong or I shouldn't ask it or etc. It sucks cause I really like her but I can tell it's completely one sided. In fact, I feel like she wouldn't even know if I was gone. I don't know how to get over her. I've never been in a relationship, never had anyone remotely interested in me in that way. I've always been a best friend or brother and all romantic feelings have been one sided and it's so annoying because I don't want these feelings. Everytime I end up falling for someone I tend to be used or strung along, it's like they know I like them and enjoy being with them, and I'm so blinded by it. Then I just end up forgotten and tossed aside. Depression gets worse, confidence takes a big hit, but the hardest part is moving on. I'm so tired of always falling for the girl who's never interested in me. People tell me I fall too fast, but I don't, most people I fall for are ones I get to know real well and I feel comfortable around them to just be myself. I have awful social anxiety and there are enough people in my life I can count in my hand that I can truly be open with. I can't explain what it is about them that hooks me to them but it's awful. I don't know how to deal with these emotions and it's annoying. The depression, the loneliness, the aches. Not to mention I have BPD so forming any healthy relationship is probably out of the question. I just wish I knew how to get over her. I've tried a lot of unhealthy methods. Nothing worked, I don't know if it's because I'm just so damn lonely it hurts, or whatever it is. Some nights I wonder why I'm even still letting myself suffer. I'm 31, when does "it gets better" take affect? When is it alright for me to finally give up?