Im very shy and never been in a relationship before. I know i can masturbate to aleviate sexual tension im starting to be left wanting more. I think about cuddles and cutesy relationship stuff like spending time together, snacking, napping, doing fun things, ect.

Its dawning on me i need a gf to feel this and maybe thats my brain's way of telling me this. I want to talk to girls more this next semester but im so worried. I messed things up with a girl before i left for being awakward and (in her words) "dull". I have been trying not to take it personally but that stung and made me feel incompatable with everyone in the world.

Can i find love? As much as it hurts, changing my whole personality, being introverted and a little soft spoken and reserved, feels wrong and two-faced.

I feel pressure as a guy to take the lead on things and idk if im able to do that.