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How do you find women who like sex and actively want to be close and intimate?
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Hello everyone!
I come to you all hoping to get some advice. I am a 34 year old man, going on 35 in January, who has never had a relationship or successful date. I have received and given Oral sex once but I do not wish to go into those details. I like sex, I like physical gratification and pleasure and I would be lying if I didn't say I have a slight envy of mature couples you see fooling around on porn sites. Out on a hike, no one is around, feeling each other up while recording on their phone. I envy that relationship intimacy, two people who love each other and each other's bodies. Physical, emotional, intimacy with another person is something I desire more than anything but I can't find it.

I have tried every major dating app, I have been mostly active on Boo lately and even gave in and bought a month of membership to swipe and message more. I also have Tender, Hinge, Badoo, Bumble, and use to even use Plenty of Fish and OKCupid with no results. Occasionally I see someone I like who also says they want a sexual relationship but never hear back when sending messages.

I see other guys my size finding success but I can't seem to find anyone who I am attracted to who is also interested in me. I even tried going to BDSM events locally on Fetlife to try and go where I would think women like that would be and everyone there is either old or in a relationship.

I honestly am not sure where to find women who like and want sex or how to sell myself. As mentioned, I am a bigger guy though I am currently working on myself and have already lost 20lbs before I injured my sciatic nerve (hope to get back to the gym next week, I miss it) but I know it can't just be my weight and looks.

What am I missing? I know women who love sex and being close and intimate in a relationship exist, I read Reddit posts all the time and see the videos from amateur couples. Anyone who has found a partner like this have any suggestions as to how/where you met? I am getting older, I want to enjoy my youth and find someone to enjoy it with and share in each other's love and passion.

My therapist says I am normal, that my desires are valid and I have even asked if I come off as a creep or bad person and she says no. In fact she says I need to value myself more and I know I am not the most confident of guys, I am a bit more on the meek and submissive side of the coin. I am certainly a more emotional guy vs a manly man. I just don't know what to do.

Please help me.

EDITED: Something mushed all the paragraphs together, fixed it. Apologies for the block of text.

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11 months ago