I guess the answer to this question will be somewhat obvious, but I want to give some context for this. Let's consider this post as a kind of vent and a question at the same time.

I (22 M) have been trying, or rather longing, to have a partner for at least three or four years, let's say that at first it wasn't something that bothered me much, I was thinking about something like "it would be nice to have a girlfriend" but I didn't think much about it either. But over the years that thought would become a stronger feeling. With that we move to the last two to three years in which I have been trying through dating apps to see if something can happen with practically zero results.

I know that having wanted that or even wanting it now for some will be something even unnecessary, but I think it goes without saying that how people feel is different depending on each one. Anyway, in general it could be said that I am the type of man who is like the one in romantic comedies, the one that apparently has had, let's call them suitors, but he doesn't realize because he is an idiot, that same character would be me. After talking about it a few times it's kind of funny but once you think about it in this situation, I find myself in they feel like wasted opportunities at the very least. Although I don't regret not doing anything on those occasions, to be honest having a relationship at such a young age with any of the girls who apparently liked me would have completely changed my life, and I'm fine with the life I have. It's just the fact that I would like to have a girlfriend, and to think that I could have at least had a minimum of experience in that field of dating is something that is having repercussions in some way right now.

Here I would come to another point, which is having been using dating apps for years without any results, I think that this enters this discussion in which, and this may cause many people to not like what I am going to say, but I think that women overvalue themselves more than they should. And just to be clear I love women, I think they are beautiful and can do many things that man cannot, but the value that some of them have for themselves is ridiculous. By this I mean that most women (I don't like to generalize because I know that not all women are like that) feel that they should be the center of attention at all times, and that in the case of dating a man, this is the one who has to do everything, from starting the conversation, planning the date, anything for the relationship to move forward, and if he does not meet the expectations that he has, it is not worth it, even though the man may have done everything possible to be of interest to her.

To be honest, I didn’t at any moment in these three plus years have wanted anything more than the vanilla side of what the people think of having a girlfriend. Well, to be more clear, the part that I want the most of this is the one of having someone that cares about me in a different way that my family does for me, one that I can go out in a date for a change of the routine sometimes, one that I can cuddle with while watching a movie or something. I guess maybe that could be a reason, but I have never got even the chance to demonstrate that what I want is all of the above. Obviously, the sexy part is something that I think anyone wants to, me included, but honestly, it’s the last part of what I want.

In any case, what I'm getting at with this is that this is the feeling I get from the zero progress I've had for two years or more trying to meet women on dating apps. I know I'm not the most handsome man in the world, let alone the most muscular or whatever the standard of men seems to be these days, but I know I'm not the worst out there either. I have a normal physique, not too skinny and not overweight either, and I don't have a bad face from what one can say of oneself, so I want to believe that it doesn't have much to do with my appearance. I’m quite introverted and shy, so even trying the dating apps thing was a huge step for me, I can’t even have a normal conversation with someone even through a chat. That’s why all of this burden of emotions related to the dating thing has been so much for me, and lately even more than before.

My confidence even got destroyed a couple of months ago, when thanks to a friend of mine I was introduced to a girl. This was literally the first time I was going to a date. I’m not going to get into details about how I was more nervous that the nervous system the whole time. But I was thinking the thing was going fine, a little slow I guess, but according to my friend that was the way she wanted to. We talked for about two months, and went in a second date, but after that second date, that I’ll admit was the same as the first but again it was my first time having a real chance with a girl so I was playing it safe, she ghosted me, and that was a hard punch to the gut because I genuinely think that is the best shot I will ever have given the opportunities that I realistically could have ever.

All this problem mixed with other personal problems have led me down a path of depression that is not entirely relevant since it is not a serious depression, but still has had me low for quite a long time. And I don't know what to do, I have given myself a few months off during those years, in which I think that maybe waiting a bit I can have some luck, but the situation never changes, the matches that he got are few and while I do my best to maintain a one-sided conversation at no time does it seem that anyone is interested.

So, this is where my vent ends and where we return to the question at the beginning, should I keep trying? Is there something else I can do? Could it be something I'm doing wrong? I just want some advice or to hear if something similar has happened to other people.

For those who have reached the end, thanks for reading and if you leave me any comments, I will see to answer them.