My latest interaction with the opposite sex.

I'm eating at the mall, I see a good looking girl, she approaches me with a smile on her face. This girl has it all, long dark hair😍, tattoos, piercings and a choker. Perfect for me. Chase you around the kitchen table with a knife one night and treat you like a king the next. All green flags. Hop on the crazy train and don't look back right? You know what kind of girl I'm talking about.

Anyway I'm really excited at this point, just glowing with confidence and I'm thinking like 🤔 she's approaching me right? She must see something she likes right? Yes. Let's gooo. I start thinking like what's our first date going to be, am I going to get her flowers? What if she doesn't like flowers. She doesn't look like she likes flowers, maybe My Chemical Romance on CD. Nah that's stupid. What are we like 15. Lol A puppy? Nah that's too much. Then she gets to me and says "Hello" and I fart.... now I'm thinking to myself "oh shit...did she hear that? Was it as loud as I thought it was 😓😨. Yeah it was loud AF. Like a mini earthquake on my chair. Pretty sure God heard that. I knew I shouldn't have ordered that cheesecake but dammit it was calling my name. She then asks if I'm using my other chair...I say no. She says thanks very awkwardly and walks away. Meanwhile I'm just like ......😐

Yup.