Hi fellow Dads,

I really need some advice. This Christmas time my son (6 years old), my partner and myself were staying at my parent-in-laws.

My son lost a piece of Lego so I spent some time looking for it, looking under his bed I stumbled on what I thought was a shotgun cartridge.

I went down to speak politely and diplomatically with my parent-in-laws and I asked them what it was. They confirmed that it was a shotgun cartridge and still had the charge and pellets inside. My father in law then proceeded to show me his antique 1860s riffle/shotgun that had been converted to take recent cartridges. He loaded the gun, cocked it and then made the motion to pull the trigger whilst standing right next to me. He gave me a look that frankly scared me.

I never realised he had a weapon like this at his home. The weapon was simply propped against the wall in the dining room, and a box of cartridges freely accessible a few meters away.

I tried to keep my calm and walked away, we were due to leave shortly after. Before leaving my partner's parents started commenting that I overreacted and that I was being hysterical, that my father-in-law assures the security of their home and there is nothing to worry about. I never shouted at anyone, I'm a very calm and considerate person.

We left and I told my partner that we need to discuss with her parents about this because for me, my son will not return to her parents' home until this situation has been resolved. She avoided speaking to her parents about this until recently.

It is my nephew's birthday this weekend and my partner would like to go and see her nephew with our son and this would mean staying at her parents' place. She phoned her parents over the last couple of weeks to try and find out what they've done with the shotgun; this ended with an argument between her and her dad.

She recently received an email from her parents accusing her of treating them as being senile and stupid. Stating that the problem is solved and it should no longer be spoken about and that she should just trust them.

I don't trust them at all. They are perfectly capable of defining "solved" as hiding the shotgun somewhere in their home. I want to hear that it has been locked away, separate from the ammunition, which has equally been locked away. As is required under French law. I'm certain that he doesn't have a gun license. He uses his gun to shoot moles in his garden.

The problem is that my partner wants to trust them and I do not. She is afraid that her parents will stop to talking to her if she doesn't. Her mum and dad are over 80 years old and they're stubborn and incapable of questioning themselves.

She is wants to go to her parents' home this weekend with our son and I am refusing to allow her to go with him. If our son doesn't go, she doesn't know how to explain this to her mum and dad. My partner acknowledges that her parents' mental health is worrying her.

I suggest that she waits a few weeks before going to see her parents so that everyone can calm down and so that we can then talk about this rationally.

This situation is creating a lot of tension between my partner and myself. I don't know what to do. I'm quite a security conscious person and I wonder if I'm being too protective of my son? What do you think?

Thanks and sorry for this really long message.