Every time i get to speak with a new psychiatrist and got asked about what brought me here,id always reply with the same answer.”Im confused”.I get confused so much that i really dont know who i am or what im doing with my life anymore. On the good days id have some of the confusion sorted out with goal loud and clear in my head.Id act accordingly most of the times which makes me love my hypomanias since i progress alot in most of the plans i set out.

On the bad days id be so unmotivated ,lazy depressed as if nothing matters anymore. The goals that i got listed out for myself stopped doing anything for me anymore. Id have blunted emotions with me not able to cry shout scream or do anything,id only sleep for half of the day and the other half id spend laying on the bed doing nothing. Thats when confusion strikes me the most,where id lose any passion whatsoever to what im doing and id be like “is that what i really want?” .

What really sucks about that mental illness is the torment of the mixed phase and the never-ending confusion i have to deal with all my life.