I get that my beloved soul mate is under a lot and I mean A LOT of stress due to being in jail and a lot of our phone calls as of late end up in arguments due to her understandable frustration with our situation (she's in jail and I'm homeless and we both have a narcotics addiction) and isn't able to safely vent this towards anyone but me and I do 100% understand this. Regardless and because of my up bringing, I still feel that these arguments are 100% my fault and wouldn't happen at all if I were just better and didn't fail at every goddamn thing that I try (because trying and failing looks like you haven't even tried at all). To punish myself, for being a miserable, worthless, failure, I cut. I feel that my arms and wrists are no longer an option because I am actively trying to get into rehab. This morning after I got off the phone with her I took the glass and cut lower part of my leg as punishment. Yes, it deservedly stung and bled but it still didn't have the same desired effects. Not punishment enough. Where can I go to next that is similar to my arms and wrists but won't make the nurse at rehab deny me admission there and instead send me to a psych ward.