from fetlife. shared with permission.

my relationship is entirely consensual

so i do enjoy all the cuckquean things, and all the psychological things…. including deprivation of His cock and rules like i’m only good for blow jobs most of the time and such, but it’s been a long stretch of no fucking. i have dug down deep to be good which means not asking to be fucked (done bad at that today 😭) and to try and figure out how i can behave better. Also yes, i get off on deprivation 🥹

i guess this has coincided with my waking up earlier and being extra tired? idk. He bear hugs me in bed and i fall asleep like immediately.. That much i know. For example last night i don’t even remember falling asleep.

So He says for awhile now, i grind my ass and holes i guess on His cock at night. whatever, i mean i feel like an asshole for bothering Him…but what can i do about it. i am certain i would obey Him asleep same as awake so all He has to do is say stop? He does He says, i remember maybe that happening once or twice (vaguely getting in trouble during the night). i guess i feel disappointed in myself for wanting Him that badly to bother Him. i want Him to continue letting me sleep in His bed with Him.

anyway He dreamt the other night of His ex “in heels”, and fucking her. she’s really pretty and i don’t blame Him for thinking of her while i rubbed on Him. He confirmed….that night i performed my sleep grind hump of desperation lol. i know i am not cumming, i have cum in my sleep a lot and would recognize that feeling. i fantasize about Him fucking me, sometimes not letting me cum, or letting me grind on Him and He cums (and thinks of His ex) but doesn’t let me. But i don’t even know how i would know this happened but it’s a yummy fantasy.

then it occurred to me, it’s not my business when i cum. or get fucked, that’s for my Owner to decide.

juicy tldr; He dreamt of fucking another woman (an ex) while my wet desperate pussy grinded against Him in desperate hopes He would use me.