Ok so this is kind of a unique situation we’ve found ourselves in and I’d really appreciate this community’s input. I’ve been sharing my husband with other women for a few years now, and about 4 months ago we found a long term cake. I share hubby with her 3-4 nights a week now, and honestly we couldn’t be happier to have her in our lives. She’s a little younger then us (she’s 27), and has been fantastic about following our boundaries and has made sure we’ve both been comfortable with everything she’s done. The last couple of years I’ve had some fertility issues including a pretty traumatic miscarriage, and ultimately come to the conclusion that I can’t have my own child. We desperately want a child but it just can’t happen. Our cake knows this and recently offered to have my husband’s child for us. She really likes the idea of being bred and being pregnant, but is not in a place where she can take care of a child. So her offer is that my husband would knock her up, she’d stay with us during the pregnancy, and then I’d adopt the child as it’s mother after she gives birth. She would sign closed adoption papers (prior to giving birth) and agree to have no contact with the child and also give up any parental rights, including any rights to child support, visitation, etc..

Logically her offer makes a lot of sense, it gives us the ability to raise a child like we’ve been dreaming about for years, and it allows her to continue with her lifestyle. However I’m concerned about the emotional impact of the situation. First it never seems like a wise decision to actually mix kink life with real personal life, so that seems a bit sketchy. But also hormones are a hell of a drug, and I have to wonder if she would suddenly change her mind at some point during or after the pregnancy and regret the closed adoption. I can’t imagine giving birth and not viewing the child as anything but your own, but she assures us she has absolutely no interest in caring for a child, she just view’s being impregnated for real as her ultimate kink.

We’re definitely interested in her offer, but we just aren’t sure it’s wise, and we’d love to hear your feedback.

Thanks!

Edit: Hey thanks for all the advice guys! I’d like to clarify a few things; I said she’d be staying with us during the pregnancy, and by that I meant stay with us as our cake, not live with us. That’s my bad, I can totally see where y’all thought that. Another point, is that we currently welcome her in for sex, but we are not a throuple. For the three of us, ending a sexual arrangement is way less emotional then ending a more serious relationship, especially being that she’ll be able to find other couples to cake for, while we will be to busy to have a cake once the baby is born anyway. A few of you mentioned surrogacy and the arrangement would be more similar to that just with the benefit of sex. We will look more into surrogacy arrangements and see if there is a better option for surrogacy, or if there are airtight legal surrogacy agreements.

We really appreciate all the input. I do want to point out that this was just an opportunity put forth, we have yet to go anywhere beyond just talking about it, there is no agreement made yet. We will discuss this further, but in all likelihood we’ll probably decline the offer due to the risk. If anyone has ideas for risk mitigation, then we might still, but it seems like there’s just to much risk at this time point.