I (M56) found out a few years ago that my wife of 20 years (F53), the love of my life, had been getting the shit fucked out of her behind my back for years by a good looking horse-hung single stud who works for her company in another part of the country. When I found out I was totally shocked, hurt, enraged for a long time. I forced her to tell me every detail - I knew I could never even start to get past it until I knew everything. Once I found out his name I scoured the internet, social media and other sources for every scrap of information I could find about him, every photo, every fact, every woman he was associated with (there have been many), every mention of him anywhere. As a result I feel like I know him now, though he has no idea I found out. Learning that he's a tall, good-looking, well-hung alpha, a notorious player who fucks tons of women besides my wife, has stirred these feelings of admiration and envy of him, especially regarding how easily and thoughtlessly he fucked my wife, how instantly, hopelessly attracted to him she was, how she didn't think twice about risking our marriage to ride his huge cock, over and over again for years until I found out. I don't consider myself bi, but this dynamic between him and me is very strange, intensely erotic and humiliating. Have any other cheated-on husbands or boyfriends experienced this? How have you dealt with it? Does your wife or gf know?

Edit: If you reached out to chat and I haven't responded, reach out again. I was about to reply and accidentally hit the Ignore button. Leave username here so I'll see it.