My wife of almost 15 years and I got into a big argument a while back (we are in a better place now after working on things we needed to through counseling and putting in more effort) while she was out of town, almost ended in divorce in hindsight.

She was in her hometown at the time and after the argument ended up flirty messaging (she doesn’t get super flirty so it was for her) an old friend she had kissed years ago to “make me jealous,” as I sometimes read her FB Messenger convos (she’ll do the same to me). She stated she saw him out in his yard (he lives around the corner from her parents) and wanted to stop by to say hi. She did stop by his house later but had her mom with her and he wasn’t home, his parents were in the front yard doing something.

I didn’t end up seeing her FB messages til she was back home. I almost immediately came in my pants without even being hard when I saw the messages later, and I told her this. I had told her lightly early on in our marriage about wanting to see her with other men and exploring sexually. These messages opened it up further and we have had several convos about her flirting and being with men, with my approval. She’s not keen on the idea herself but will play along with dirty talk because she knows it gets me off hard, and has considered light things like flirting with others. I pointed out that she gets extra wet when we are sexually intimate and we are dirty talking and she is thinking about another dude, but she denies it.

After all this she bought a vibrator (not like her in the past) and she now orgasms regularly and uses it almost every time. She also tries more positions and is a bit more open sexually. She said she is open to trying a dildo that is slightly bigger than me, or even a sleeve. Upon me asking, she’ll also go braless to certain outings because she knows it gets me going seeing other men check out her tits. She’ll wear tight yoga pants with no underwear for the same reason. She has said she likes the power feeling she gets controlling others guys thoughts in that way. She’s also hinted at liking how I respond when we role play her “getting” upgrades or free things in exchange for sexual favors…for instance, on the way home from car shopping we pulled over on the side of the road and she gave me (the “salesman”) a bj for a car discount. We’ll go out dancing at bars (she’ll dance with others) and those are usually the nights we have the best sex. Sometimes she’ll take her thong off and “make” me sniff where she was wet from earlier and “make” me jerk off while watching her orgasm on her vibrator (not something she has done in the past at all). She has also talked dirty and fantasized to get me off about her old friend (or a regular dance partner she has) about going to his house with no bra and tight yoga pants and then saving her thong for me to smell later, knowing that it would be extra wet at the time from being with him and knowing I get off on it.

Just wanted to get this off my chest, as I always enjoy reading other’s accounts.