Our hero John just cannot catch a break. God it's enough to make you feel sorry for him.

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Chapter Four

21st November 2015

I sat in the counsellors office with my head in my hands trying to explain why I was failing all my classes. I knew that I hadn’t been spending enough time on my work. Partly that was because of the amount of time I dedicated to making sure Carla was happy and had everything she wanted. But partly my mind had just not been in the right place at all. I had been emotionally torn apart recently and just couldn’t focus on work at all.

“I think I need to take a break from work, its causing me a lot of stress.”

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“I understand that John and I think it would be a good idea. Have a bit of time with friends and family, refocus and then come back to class when you’re ready.” The kindly counsellor suggested.

Time with friends and family? Yeah right, I thought. I haven’t got any friends and I have been speaking to my family less and less since I got together with Carla. My time was going to be taken up with showing my love and devotion to my perfect girlfriend. That’s all I cared about, showing Carla how much she means to me and keeping her in my life.

“That sounds good, thank you.”

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“That’s no problem John, let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.”

I left the counsellors office with a weight lifted from my shoulders. He had been so kind to me, I was so happy. I wanted to tell Carla the good news so I got my mobile out of my pocket and dialled her number.

“Hello” She said as she answered

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“Hey, it’s me.” I replied

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“Oh, hi John, you okay?” She asked

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“Yeah, really good actually, I just had a chat with the university counsellor and it went really well, he’s said I can take time out of university.”

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“Oh yeah, I forgot that was today” she said slightly distractedly, “well that’s good, I’m pleased for you…John I can’t really talk now, I’m out shopping with Becky, buying some stuff for tonight. Maybe we can talk another time yeah?”

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“Oh, yeah, of course, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I said, “When would be a good time?”

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“I don’t know, I’ll let you know another time. Becky and I will need a lift to Ryan’s tonight? If you pick us up around 8pm that should work.”

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“Oh, yes of course Carla.” My heart sank, did he have to hang over every conversation we had.

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“Great, see you later bye” She hung up the phone before I’d even had a chance to respond.

The conversation left me a little disappointed but I wasn’t going to let it get me down. I was going to have so much more free time, I could definitely prove to Carla that I was the guy for her, that I was the one who really cared for her and would look after her. I headed off in the direction of a flower shop to buy Carla a lovely, big bouquet of flowers. I was going to stay positive, stay optimistic.

When I arrived to take Becky and Carla to Ryan’s for the party they were both very excited. Carla was so looking forward to the evening that she barely acknowledged my flowers.

“How do you think Carla looks John?” Becky teasingly asked.

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“Absolutely stunning.” I responded, she really did. Her hair was all wavy, she was wearing a gorgeous black dress with quite a lot of cleavage and with a slit down one leg. Her make-up was beautiful, classy but not slutty. She had taken my breath away when I first saw her. I was sad that she hadn’t dressed up this way for me, but beggars can’t be choosers.

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“I’m sure Ryan will think so too.” Becky said cruelly and Carla stuck her tongue out at her friend.

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“Ignore mean Becky, John, she’s just being silly.” They giggled and I tried to join in a bit, but as usual the joke was on me.

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“John go get my black heels!” Carla ordered, again no please included in the request. So off I went to fetch her black heels. I came back and they were both sitting on the sofa.

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“Put them on for me!” Carla said again, lifting her left foot towards me. I knelt down and started to put her shoes on her feet as they continued to talk to each other. I was amazed at how much authority her demands now carried. Disobeying no longer seemed like a possibility. She didn’t have to say please or thank you, her requests didn’t have to be reasonable. If Carla told me to do something my body started to do it before I had even had time to consciously think about what she had told me to do.

I put the second shoe on and again Carla didn’t bother to thank me.

“Can I have him put mine on too?” Becky directed the question at Carla, not at me.

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“Of course honey, have him do whatever you want.”

Becky leaned forward towards me with a menacing grin on her face,

“Did you hear that, I can have you do whatever I want…now that’s an interesting thought isn’t it?”

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“Yes Becky” I responded submissively

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“For now, fetch my shoes and put them on for me.”

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“Yes Becky.” And off I was again, fetching shoes, kneeling down and then putting them on the pretty girl’s feet.

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“Right lets go.” Carla announced, the girls got up from the sofa and we made our way to my car. Becky and Carla got into the backseat and I started driving them to Ryan’s.

As we were driving, I was told what music to put on, what volume to put it on, I was told to put my seat forward so that the girls had more leg room. I ended up cramped into the front seat, listening to loud pop music as the two girls intermittently sang along and chatted. They did stop chatting for a short period so that they could torment me a bit.

“So I hear you’re taking some time off from classes John, that’s a shame.” Becky said.

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“Yeah, I just needed a bit of a break.” I replied.

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“Well I don’t expect you to slack off from what you do for me.” Carla butted in.

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“No no of course not.” I said, backpedalling slightly.

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“You’ve got him so well trained, I love it…So what are you going to do with all that spare time?” Becky asked.

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“Well I thought he might end up getting a job, would be nice to have a bit more money to play with.” Carla spoke without giving me a moment to respond. My mouth almost dropped when I heard what she had said. I couldn’t believe it, she hadn’t mentioned that to me at all. This was supposed to be time for me to figure out what I wanted and to rejuvenate and she was lining a job up for me.

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“What kind of job?” Becky didn’t even bother directing this question at me, it was straight at Carla.

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“Oh I don’t know, I’m sure McDonalds would have him, they’re always looking for new burger flippers.” The two girls cackled in the back and as per usual I said nothing.

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“Oh turn the radio up, I love this song.” I turned the volume up and the two girls sang at the top of their lungs. After this conversation I really wondered whether I knew what I was getting myself into.

I pulled up outside Ryan’s place and the girls got out of the car excitedly.

“I’ll give you a ring when we want to get picked up” Carla said and turned without waiting for a response.

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“Have a great time.” I called after them as they walked towards the door. This just brought laughter from them both, but I had no idea what else to do or to say. I felt so pathetic constantly driving them around from party to party and never being invited in, but I always tried to stay positive. Nobody likes being around someone who mopes all the time.

I drove back home, desperately trying to keep thoughts of what they might all be doing, out of my head. If I let my mind go down that rabbit hole then I really would struggle emotionally.

Back at home I watched some TV, played some video games, then I’m ashamed to admit it but I masturbated to thoughts of Carla. I had something to eat, then watched a bit more TV before going to bed. The students next door were having a party which didn’t make it easy to get to sleep, but much worse than that was that my mind just kept focussing on thoughts of Carla being with Ryan. As much as I tried to stop thinking about it I couldn’t. I could do nothing apart from picture her in his arms, or her kissing him, even them holding hands made me feel sick. As the hours went by I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep until she’d left his place. But hour after hour went and I heard nothing from her.

2am, then 3am, then 4 am. I started to worry, what the hell had happened to her? Had they gone out to a club or something? I texted her to ask if she was okay. Another hour went by, 5am now. Had something terrible happened to her? I called her mobile and she answered with a groggy voice.

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“Hello… what the hell John?”

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“I’m sorry, I was really worried, are you okay? What happened? I asked, relieved to hear her voice.

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“I’m fine, I’m sleeping over at Ryan’s. I’ll let you know when to pick me up tomorrow.” And with that she hung up the phone.

Well that was more or less confirmed then, she is obviously sleeping with Ryan. Maybe it was obvious before and I had just really not wanted to face the fact. But now, it couldn’t be any clearer. They were fucking. I started bawling into my pillow, my world crashing down around me.

I didn’t sleep at all that night, not a wink. Misery overwhelmed me. I bet you’re wondering what I did. Broke up with her? Punched Ryan in the face? Nope, nothing so heroic. She texted me telling me to pick her up at 10am and I was outside in my car, right on time. I drove her back home, after she’d slept with Ryan, how pathetic can I get? Oh wait there’s more. After I took her home, I ran her a bath and I did her laundry. Then I went back to my flat and cried some more, I felt like I’d hit rock bottom.

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