I have the apartment to myself for two weeks, so I'm getting stupid this weekend before I try to get healthy. We'll see how that goes.

I'm disenchanted with everything around me and my ambition is long gone. I'm number and dumber by the day. I'm watching my skinsuit deteriorate and I know that I don't have the money to buy a new one. Even if I did, I'd rather spend that on booze and blow.

This sub is full of beautiful people full of genuine self-expression. There is zero ulterior motive to the conversation here. Ego is left at the door as you all share this ball of chaos with each other.

I've got the ball of chaos. It's in my belly and it bellows in dog whistle to my canine ears. I stare through distanced telescopes as people around me fail to hear it. I'm too nice to be a sociopath, but I'm too sensitive to be a mannequin.

I'm a sad shell of myself but what else could I be? I want to drink with everyone of you so we can all convince ourselves just a little bit more that some flowing stream of solidarity makes all of this shit worth it somehow.

I've seen some of you spiritual athletes come and go, and it's been helpful. I owe it to myself and to all of you to at least reach out and say hello before I completely wither away. Could be sooner than later, who knows? I get out of breath a lot, so there's that.

Pay pricey fares, then take those stairs. Sit in those chairs. Those chairs, everyone. Those damn chairs.