Here’s a fun little story for all you CAs

A few years back Andrew WK was playing a small concert venue in town and my GF at the time and I were going to go.

Well at this same time I find out she’s been cheating on me. And she’s going to go to the show with the new bf / fuck buddy instead.

So I decide to get a ticket. I’m going to go to the show and do my best to whip this guys ass. He’s about a foot taller and has 50 lbs on me, so I decide it’s best to get good and liquored up first in case shit doesn’t go as planned (later find out he’s in the navy and it likely wouldn’t have).

Well Forget my wallet, so I decide to 5 finger discount a 12 pack (in already shithoused and the concert hasn’t started) from the drugstore nearby. Except the clerk chases me, I get taken in by the cops, and spend a few hours in jail.

A friend bails me out and I decide to drive over to my rebounds apartment, but not without getting a roady, cause I needed one after jail, and I’m also an alcoholic.

As I’m pulling into her complex, I get lit up by blue lights . Fuck. I’m well above .08. Cop ask me what I’ve been doing and if Ive been drinking. I tell him the truth that I just got out of jail, and show him my papers.

He knows I’m drunk. I know he knows I’m drunk. He looks at me with a combo of pity and disgust , tells me to pull into the apartment and puts a BOLO on my car in case I go back out that night.

I did get a blowjob at the end of this, but was too drunk to enjoy it or get thoroughly hard. Passed out halfway through .