It’s funny how you spend all day with other people, surround yourself with strangers, work with them, have lunch with them, go to movies and concerts with them, make love to them, even hold them while they fall asleep.

But’s it’s only after they’re all gone, the day is over, and they’re all asleep - when you wait 30 minutes and then creep out of bed to the guest bathroom and pull the bottle out from behind the cleaning supplies under the sink and find yourself gulping it - praying you don’t throw it up and waste it - that you finally stop feeling alone. You sit in the dark and watch the street lights flicker through the blinds and feel complete again, drinking In the dark - the warmth flowing down into your body.

That’s the best feeling. And it’s fleeting - sure. But for a couple of minutes it’s just you and the bottle and the world finally levels out and you just might sleep well tonight.

Probably not though.