Started drinking at 9am and killed a six pack of 12oz coors banquets before noon. Then on my way to work downed a 40 of high life. Went to several bars before I was supposed to go to work. Blacked out completely and fucked everything up. Showed up at work 30 minutes late insisting I’m not working, left, then not realizing I had been there already called and said I can come in…. Told my boss I was just tired.

Put my two weeks in the next day. Embarrassed to even show my face around there. Luckily I have new work lined up and that job drove me to drink. Would go to bars on my breaks and just only think about drinking.

Now “tomorrow will be my last day” for the 6th day in a row. Been drinking fairly heavily. Just constant beer intake at this point. Worried about my organs, and worried I’ll die or worse, hurt someone else. Can’t go to rehab or anything as I’d destroy my only remaining job that will help me get out of the tens of thousands in credit card debt I’ve drank myself into. I’m only 23 and I want it to end. I suck.