Flora sat at her desk at Homewood Heating & Air, ready to get back on the phone at her telemarketing job; she promoted "Cleaning Checks", where a technician was supposed to come out to a customer's home to "clean and tune" their central heating & air conditioning systems (what they really did was look for older units and talk the owners into allowing a Salesman to come out and talk them into buying a brand new system; this scheme made millions for the company!).

Flora logged into the autodialer, ready to take calls, displayed in orange text on her monochrome monitor...but first, she opened her tupperware container and forked a big, juicy bite of pork roast that she had made the night before (with a generous dash of MSG-laded seasoning sauce!)...it was delicious!

"Get back on the groovin' PHONE, Flora!" shouted Steve (whom they all called "Groove Daddy", the phone room manager and resident crack addict, whom Flora sometimes bought crack and crystal from).

"I'm ON the ding dang phone!" replied Flora, who head the first call come in from the autodialer, all the while the latest Mariah Carey hit was playing on her desk radio.

"Hey, this is Flora with Homewood Heating and Air...I'm just callin' 'cause we got a great special on our cleaning and tune-up for your central air system...."

"We're NOT interested!" replied the woman on the phone; Flora could tell by the phone number that it was from "over the mountain", a very wealthy area.

"I understand you ain't interstid", replied Flora, "But we got a good special here...instead of the regular $59.95, we got it down ta just $39.95 - would morning or afternoon be better for ya?"

The woman on the phone sighed. "What part of NOT INTERESTED did you not understand, you stupid piece of trailer trash?!?!?"

Flora's nostril's flared.

"Yew snobby-dob, over-the-mountain rich bitch! I ain't no trash, and I'm gonna make yew pay for what you done said!"

Groove Daddy, having listened to the conversation from his desk, turned to Flora with a furious look in his eyes.

"Flora, you're FIRED!"

"Yew cain't fahr me, 'cuz I QUIT!!!!"

Steve smiled and replied, "Fine by me, I accept your resignation, because that means you can't collect unemployment...now, get the hell out of the building and have a nice rest of your Saturday!"

Flora picked up her purse and stomped out of the building, her 230 pound frame shaking the concrete floor as she left.

"I'm gonna make that snobby-dob rich bitch PAY for gettin' me fahrd!"

Flora hopped into her 1988 red Oldsmobile Firenza, and drove off so furiously that her left front hubcap came off, rolling into the Amoco gas station parking lot next to Homewood Heating & Air.

She had memorized the address of the woman who had chewed her out and called her "Trailer Trash" (so what if she lived in a trailer? Sure, it was a single-wide, but she didn't yet have the money for a double-wide trailer...them double-wides, them are nice!)

Flora drove to her destination over-the-mountain, parked her car a block away from the snobby-dob woman's house, and snuck into her backyard...her stomach growling...she had forgotten her delicious pork roast back at her desk...all the snobby-dob woman's fault, but she was about to pay dearly!

Flora saw the woman step out onto her back patio to water some roses - something only them rich snobby-dobs do - and waited for the woman to go back inside.

With the back patio door open just a crack, Flora sprinted - quite a task with her rotund frame - and entered the wealthy domicile.

"I ain't no trailer trash, yew snobby-dob bitch!" shouted Flora as she grabbed the woman's arm and bit into her bicep.

The woman screamed out in pain as Flora swallowed the bloody muscular tissue, then dove in for some more, bite and gulp, bite and gulp!

Flora had eaten the better part of the woman's arm when she decided that she'd had enough, and ran out of the house, leaving the rich woman clutching the remains of her arm, whimpering on the floor in a pool of her own blood.

Flora got into the driver's seat of her red '88 Olds Firenza and drove off like a bat out of hell; a bystander pointed out she had a flat tire, but Flora just kept on driving, with the rim generating bright sparks as it chewed up the road.

Flora made it home - a single-wide trailer where she stayed rent-free, courtesy of her Uncle John; Uncle John had breathing difficulties, and thus relied on an oxygen tank; Flora told him about her day as she lit up a cigarette.

Uncle John laughed and exclaimed, "Well, now, them snooty folks over-the-mountain sure will treat telemarketers with more respect now!"

Flora laughed and didn't worry about her employment situation, as she was sure to get on at Dorrell Heating & Air, the competitor of her old employer.

All was right with the world, because, although she left her delicious pork roast at her desk, she had filled her fat belly with some tasty "Long Pig"!

Ende.